Twas The Night Before Christmas

[Scottish-Exile]

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
the only thing stirring, was a Microsoft mouse
Logging on each day in search of a natter
And contribute my bit to the internet chatter
Discussions on XK’s, both 8’s and R’s
These wonderful Jaguars are truly great cars

So have you a coupe or is yours a soft top?
15 seconds in summer, to make that roof drop
And then to the colours sure to delight
We all have our favourite, well, maybe not white !
Black, red, green, topaz, silver or blue
The car looks great, whatever the hue

The interior is finished in sumptuous leather
Cashmere, ivory, charcoal, whatever!
A polished dashboard in walnut or grey
Or perhaps piano black is the choice of the day
Go for the SatNav and add the chrome rings
It’s all in the detail and the joy that it brings

And so to the alloys as next you decide,
On 18, or 19 or 20 inch wide
Sepang or Paris, Detroit, Montreal
There’s so much to choose from and I want them all
The wheels look so handsome whatever you pick
With Pirelli P-Zeroes doing the trick

So now that you’ve chosen your spec of desire
And created a car to light your hearts fire
It’s time for some action and put to the test
And drive your new Jaguar that’s what we like best
From dawn to dusk and right through the night
Heaven, pure heaven, it’s such a delight

The smile on your face is a permanent feature
As if you’re possessed by some mystical creature
And I guess that you are, that’s just how it feels
As this sleek feline cat your heart it does steal
You’re completely enchanted each waking hour
By its beauty and presence its style and its power

A 4.2 litre purrs under the bonnet
A V8 in tune like some romantic sonnet
And the supercharger with that noticeable whine
Music to our ears the sound so sublime
Performing a kick down it turns to a growl
A roar of distinction that fabulous howl

And after a while of owning this treasure
Living each day in its arms of deep pleasure
Your eyes spot the adverts in the club magazine
Modifications galore from what it would seem
So slowly you start to plan an endeavour
To improve on perfection, impossible?, never !

A full sports exhaust with big tail pipes in chrome
It seems is a must to improve on that drone
Remove the back boxes and fit straight through pipes
The louder the better as that credit card swipes
Oh what perfection the sound she now makes
A true V8 growl as the noise resonates

I’m now caught with the bug, and more mods they do beckon,
a lowered suspension is next I should reckon
An inch off the height as new Eibachs are fitted
She now hunkers down and I know I’m committed
The Arden catalogue receives full attention
My heart beating fast I fear I should mention

A body kit would give some distinction for sure
A restyled front nose would add some allure
And side skirts with air vents and a rear spoiler too
There’s no stopping me now with the things I could do
The latest acquisition is the rear light jewel cluster
Shining so bright with an awesome new lustre

Racing Green, Paramount, and in Derby, Elite
The new found friends who keep me so sweet
They handle the mod work all done to perfection
And I greet my car with a new found affection
For she now is unique and how I feel blessed
Driving each day in one of Coventry’s best

I guess as a Jag fan you’ll know what I mean
Like me you once yearned and thought it a dream
To own such a car was beyond all comprehension
A far off ‘one day’ when we’re drawing a pension
But dreams do come true it’s not all make believe
And I’ll finish my tale of this Christmas Eve
So you’ll here me exclaim, as I drive out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

[GrandTourer]

And the happiest of Christmas to you too, S-E.

What brilliant work - but then, knowing you I am not surprised anymore. All the very best, mate