Boom, boom ....

[smiffy]

A man bought his wife a Jaguar for her birthday. On the morning of said event she walked out to the garage and opened the door. The Jaguar leapt out and bit her head off.
Best wishes, Dave

[Ian3.4]

A recent advert in the local paper.

For sale, Encyclopedia Brittanica, 47 volumes, no longer needed, got married last month..........wife knows eveything.

Followed by

Free puppies, mother pure bred KC registered Golden Lab, father, sneaky mut from next door.

[smiffy]

Hi All
The expenses scandal has finally reached Southampton. Saints have been claiming an allowance for silver polish for at least five years....
Best wishes, and see you at Thoresby??
David

[Kendo38]

I went to the shops to buy a camouflage jacket yesterday, but I couldn't find one!

[smiffy]

Hi Kendo
Thank goodness there are a few folk still in touch with the dark side!

The commonest cause of death in cardiac surgeons is drowning - when they realise they cannot walk on water they still can't keep their mouths shut.

Best wishes, David

[smiffy]

Thought this corner was a bit quiet, so....

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. 'How much?' he enquires, and the barman replies 'For you sir, no charge!'

Best wishes, David

[jeff1954]

Bloke goes to a fancy dress party with a set of jump leads round his neck. He says to the guy on the door can I come in. Guy on door says OK in you go but don't bloody start anything.